You are a part of me Chicago

I let you put your seed into me as a young boy

Eighteen years later I blossomed into you

I smoke reefer in your green parks

I fuck in your apartment buildings and dormitories

…….

And in your green parks

I drink at your bars

And then ride the El for hours

Drunken stupor sleep on the blue line

 

This is Clarke and Lake!

This is O'Hare!

This is Clark and Lake!

How the fuck did I get back here?

 

Chicago I have molested your astral body

You welcomed my cock with loving embrace

You had planned accordingly

Laying out the tracks for the swift might of my inbound train

Plowing through the dark underbelly of your sweet 'nethers

 

I have slipped my tongue into your soft pink flesh

 

Your taxicab fingers running up and down my spine

Pull my hair as I amble stoned drunk deeper within you!

Draw blood from my back with your brick-tipped nails!

SLAP ME AGAIN

in the mouth

HARD!

Choke me 'till I turn Blue!

Pull my hair!

Break my flesh goddamnit!

Make me scream your name in the orgasmic bliss I feel every time I enter your humble abode

 

Nobody will ever fuck me like you do

 

I came all over myself at the sight of your streetlamps

I came within you when you draped your steel legs over my shoulders

I came when the police beat me after I left your apartment with a bag of weed

You know I do love a good beating

 

Chicago why won't you love me back?

just listened to While You Wait For The Others

by super buzz band Grizzly Bear

think this should be a hit song

i think America would find this to be "Authentic"

i mean, c'mon bro,

this is super chill

can't wait for this train to take off

can't believe i went all the way to O'Hare

think I'm going to miss Beach House

hope i get there before they play

quiet chance to start my tab

i only drink PBR, you know that

doesn't it just epitomize my blue collar roots?

you know, regardless of growing up in suburbia

Oh, you like my flannel shirt and wool hat?

I got them from U.O. of course

I feel like it connects me with my inner self

I have these vivid past memories of a former life

I remember being a sheep herding dog in the mountain lands

oh but the cardigan i was wearing the other day?

that's representative of my current life as a Chicago elite

i mean, I'm just so informed

hold on i have to stop at this atm

need to see if the 'rents sent my rent

the best part of rolling your own cigs

is not only the extra cash,

but you can use that extra cash to go green and roll mixers

i think that's why i missed my train

smoked two on the drive

all organic tobacco too

cancer's better if it's organic

so glad to be 21 and in art school

everyone will read my poetry

and elect me mayor

and i'll be the president poet laureate

and the world will be Authentically peaceful

universal health care and schooling

a new age in cultural relevancy

it'll be like one a big version of France now

guess I'm the future of the world

stoned on a train in Chicago

Past Reality

Divergence of self
Converging past tense
To get where you're going
Forget what you came from
The drugs the sex the parties the booze
The city is calling
Behind the mountains loom

Ahh the recluse of romance
She waits just beyobd the grasp of my wringing hands
Patiently pictured on the pewter coasts
Outstreched hand of love and infinare devotion
Separated from mine lonely wringing hands
No less than thousand miles
Either direction of where my tomb rests
To the north
To the east
To the west
Lest us not forget the south
Lovers every way the wind blows
Kisses traversed through jetstream journeys
Oh how i beg the four winds
Blow the victor of my heart's lonely race
To where i am stuck to stay

Lakeside Lover (Happy Birthday Angela)

someday you will be more than a mere wish

made beside the moss grown fat on flat weathered rocks

jutting forth from the murky depths

teeth in the mouth

of the man

fallen from the moon

gentle lapping waves wash over

your shimmering smooth surface

as the sun fades into the horizon

somewhere my lakefront lover

shares sighs carried betwixt longing hearts

shares sighs carried on the back of autumn's gentle breeze

oh wherefore art thou, thine juliet

why must i wait alone in anguish

why are you not beside me

hair blown delicate by the current of air

whilst the waves crash o'er rocks

saliva cresting over stone teeth

saliva encapsulated behind ours

travels between tongues

coming to rest in combining of two

behind one glorious lakefront sunset

i wait for your wet embrace

i beg you keep me waiting not longer

for with absence the heart grows fond

but my soul weeps salt-capped tears

until your fair arrival

I will never finish this poem

the litigation has picked their poison master!

the opiate of the illiterate, unwashed masses has been televised

oh is the addiction strong

season after season

show after show

fresh (and not so fresh) faced

full grown adolescents

pour into audition contests

to be the next great jackass

exhibitionistic behaviors becomes our escapist savior

the light of the stars

searching for our eye

how long is 15 minutes exactly andy?

we will not be satisfied

with what we have

we will not behave appropriately

we will fight and drink

not to mention

lick, suck, fuck and fondle

our way to the top teir trajectory

inching closer to the great green briefcase

as we backstab and strategize

using our friends against themselves

this is the story of what happens

when eight strangers stop being nice

and start being real

when real comprehends to

sending in a audition tape

manufactured moments in life to show the vaguely interesting

twenty minutes of their day

that tape lands you in a house paid for by the media machine

not to mention alcohol and cigarettes

not to furthermore mention a job handily provided

and taped as the wall of niceties crumbles

as the bubble wrap is popped on

freshly wrapped concepts of

american polite,educated society

(news flash: the actual educated polite americans move to europe)

how can we evolve spiritually and politically as a nation

when misery and buffoonery

serve as primary forms of entertainment

colloquium of conglomeration

well sir, if i may use the term loosely,

you've made quite the inconceivable ass of yourself on national television

too bad no one will hire you

being that they've now seen what an alcoholic,

bipolar, spotlight hungry, screaming diva you are

i've got quite the grand idea

why don't you come host a night of binge drinking at my overrated, overpriced nightclub

i mean, it does seem to be the only area you excel at

drinking excessively at trendy hotspots

and we need a boost in business

the ladies will just throw themselves at you

oh where did the educated americans go

(they went to europe)

they're not writing poetry

for poetry in america is dead

at least i still am

for the time that i'm stuck here in the states

maybe i'm writing poetry that decries the same show that i clamor to every wednesday

maybe i got stoned and made some sort of audition tape

hoping to be a sane voice amongst the blithering idiots

or maybe i'm just the animal in hiding

innocent deer nibbling on the grass

cute, elegant, passerby's delight

in a costume getup

wolf in disguise

sarcastic, didactic, a touch oh so flamboyant

seeking to channel his distaste

by abusing the system himself

swinging from brass ring to silver, to cynical star

oh how the self-important have fallen

oh it could be worse

i could be searching for love in all the encrusted places

eight different seasons amounting hundreds of faces

love forced in mere weeks

leads to failed marriage

schedule a new show, and watch them destruct

oh wiat, here's another one

we have some camera film left over!

let's build them back up

do try to arrange a cliffhanger ending

our fall line-up seems a bit soft

show after show give the hopefuls new games

recycle your pawns across the chessboard of fame

schadenfreude is virtue

in half-lives of housewives

as the gossip rags transform our celebrities

our actors, our singers,

and someday you and me

as free entertainment

free market property

reality television obsession

escapist passionate mind fucking sex

you gladly dip your tongue into the mouth of the devil

he beats your compassion

and he rapes your sensibilities

oh but his red pointy cock feels so nice lodged in my tight little ass

your dick-tipped addiction it spirals deeper than his thrust

mind and anus dethroned in channel surfing wanderlust

I WILL NOT ACCEPT YOUR ROD

TO THE ENTRANCE OF MY VIRGIN HOLE

I WILL THINK

I WILL SPEAK

I WILL WRITE

I WILL SING

for the fires of creation

for original detail

alas, the housewife

resolve not as strong as me

she compares her life to the

celebutante, debutante queen

paparazzi captures their

every move so you can digest

your own tedious life

those mundane and obviously unimportant tasks of

caring for children

providing for families

living well within their means

observing the outcome of a dream they never chased

or even had for that matter

until they realized for some reason

they were stuck in such an awful rut

if you wanted it so bad

you should have made your run at it

instead read a book

obtain some knowledge

aside from what so and so wore to the goddamn oscars

get involved with politics

take up a hobby that enhances your mind

as opposed to your thighs

we are lacking

we are losing

i am moving to France

i am disgusted with how we stare

at the ticking time bombs dance

the green gentleman's economic proposal

green leaves

like the grass rose to greet dawn's gentle touch

picked by the discerning eyes of choice

diligent workers from dawn to dusk

but you wouldn't complain much

to the men carrying assault rifles

now would you?

black market nature

underground sanctity

our providers revered yet reviled

they stood on street corners

under the vaguely attentive eyes of law

to provide your nightly fix

pick your poison

don't forget to pay your pied piper

are you supposed to tip the green gentleman

or should your runoff be saved

for the eventual pizza man

an economy shot to hell and back

by cowboy reckless guns

under day messiah

blake in streetlamp lights

a state lies connected yet separate

feels the sting of an actor underprepared for his new role

his only apparent forte seems to be destruction

not a sleeper hit by any means more or less the armchair champion

dividing state lines to collective policies

mr president

oh great harbinger of change and hope

you are ignoring your proverbial cash cow

the udders are sore and aching for attention

you're sitting on a pile of gold

painfully unawares

movie stars and sponsored hedonists

our two favorite obsessions

in a land of moral depravity

walk cash in hand

to dispensary heavens

the weed grew through the cracks

in the pavement system floor

to sedate the minds of millions

with the income amounting in the billion

rising smoke in the senate chambers

happily consumed behind their closed armory doors

narcotic hypocrisy

illegal medications

while the pharmacies are singing their chemical compositions

to recreate the same effects of a sweet tender leaf

adding multiple side effects

unnatural suicidal tendencies

yet litigate nature

to a vilified state

personally i'm much calmer in her arms

cradled well indeed

i float amongst their air and interwebs

connection to intelligent conversations

highly imminent

all transactions final

cash in hand

billions of currency faces

exchanges glances in shadows

we do so love our taxations and representations

represent, no, respect our right to enjoy life

what fast paced life you thrive in

as i slowly strum guitar string

pledging my devotion

stillness is the movement

that my leaf inspires in me

have i slipped through the crack?

fallen between the congressional pavement

has my beautiful rose grown in the ghetto?

take us off the street they scream form outside underfunded building projects

make out trade legit

give us storefront security

and a case of wares

edible and topical

not to mention the smokeables

imagine the possibilities

of a world easily relaxed

no need for our perceived excess

just take your hit

and appreciate the peace in the air

life paced for pleasure

all in all america loves their green gentleman

why not turn the natural leaves into government paper

and ease our social conscience

wolf cloud

nothing is truly as it seems

time loses all meaning

important passages glossed over

lost in the forest of the mind

navigate your minefield

the dark knight waits beyond the courtyard

castle walls not easily scaled

fight him

for this is more than mere dream

do not fear

it will devour you alive

be not pessimistic

floundering beneath the weight of your doubts

let your vibes connect

seek only the positive

i am the wolf

sensitive skin turned to bristling fur

feel past the evil

turn to the calming wind

feel the breeze of the forest

your ancestors will join you

strip to your skins

there is no danger ahead

natural water not artificially purified

rather collected from mother sky

become the bear?

nature has challenged your spirit

bear or deer

force or grace

choose the latter

walkabout

feel the leaves crunch beneath your feet

as paws once again grow long in the sun

feel the fur sprout up from every pore

my once meek mouth now elongated

i am the pack leader

an entourage

a walking gang

call it more brotherhood unto the fang

have we de-evolved

or have we transcended the ethereal plateau

animalistic primal instinct

fell the snowflakes peppering your coat

free and pleased

to roam with ease

the pack

the pride

a unit of brothers

we live together

we die together

laugh

cry

theoreticize

till time's bitter end

a lifetime together

at a momentary glance

we went above the clouds

returned with stone tablets in hand

the clock is melting

and the colors dance as they blend

let the waves roll you about

four unique visions

four unique minds

brothers via distant mothers

bonds unbreakable

forged in stone

we are the proud

all wounds shall heal

as they are forgotten

the waves are cresting now

calm slowly descends upon the sands of time

sand-castle feet to pail-bucket skull

skin flourishes over the red and white

muscle and bone

a rebirth of the mind

in conjunction with the body

baptism by fire

the dancing flames sweetly suckle at the nape of your neck

bask in radiant warmth

positively floating in the air

no filter on our mouths

clear path to our souls

no frills or put on airs

bare bones no sheath

the voice of true self squeezes out from behind eased teeth

this is our connection

our cocoons have been abandoned

we spread our wings together

and fly towards nirvana

blend #54

the lone cigarette butt lies discarded on the floor
an expendable excess
distancing your hangover blues
from painful morning reality
filters flicked with naught a car
discarded cardboard safety
manipulated malleable monster
in the eyes of our collective republic

look closer
peer beyond that cancerous curtain
cigarettes
symbolic
of lifestyles and mindsets
the jet-set trendsetters
to hell-bent rebels
all simply suck their smoke
to the beat of two distinctly different dying drums

filters smashed between anxious thumbs
nihilistic narcissists
no brand of loyalty
simply the cheapest sticks of paper and tobacco
turned to 4 inch sticks of wavering ash
sucked deep into lungs at demon's pace
chain smoked to infinity
cloaked in cancerous perfume
breath of smoke forced from black lungs
like the spitfire speech of an angry tongue
no sunlight can escape her glare
dark lines of sight
no hope for the future
each passing day
yet another torture
she will not let you in
there is no comfort being sought
simply decimating desires
to crush fleeting spirits
steel bars pierce flesh
placed with careful abandon
head to toe decked in black
rips and tears of years of hard living
expose calloused flesh of the street brigade
no proof of daddy's little girl
did he ever speak her name
smoke streams from the cracks
in her teeth
in her soul
she cries out for death
life continues to take it's toll
depression
aggression
mind conceives one as the same
burning filter
gripped firmly
like cash in the hand
burning pain between her fingers
feed fervent fury
builds backbone
she flicks with a purpose
pulling fresh from the pack

let's flip the coin to the lighter side
shall we children of the night?

See the eloquent hipster
outside of the bar of course
cigarette merely an extension
for his flawless sense of self-accomplishment
be it what he's supposedly already seen, and who he has fucked
unwavering optimism
licks the face of uncertain future
hinged on the upcoming contributions
to the popular culture he so effortlessly mocks
living breathing dynamic demographic
future music television talking head personality
cutting his teeth on smoking circle color commentary
preparing for his eventual stardom
some sort of retrospective clip show compilation
let us revel in his jaded musing
sarcastically cynical perspective on childhood delight
nevertheless
effortless in his conglomeration of cool
cigarette smoothly puffed
breaths of smoke punctuating the air of electric conversation
some poor barfly fashionista he snagged
from his barstool soapbox podium
drag indicative of a life lived in calm
two outstretched fingers hold his
mere oral fixation
in latent disdain for consumerist culture of course
but simply ask and he'll tell you where he bought his personality
how does one stretch a square into a rectangle
he's too busy enjoying the thrift store fashionista
cooing lovingly into his ear
hanging onto every word dripping with arrogance
no rush to finish
no need to move quickly
like the rest of us elite
his life revolves around that sultry sensual beat

take his cue
don't let life wreck the mood
enjoy life
enjoy the moment
savor
or brood

With Love

there is something about her eyes
i can't shake the piercing gaze
from my head
to my heart
to my loins
all of me caught in rapture, lust
infinite
intricate
eternal connection
hearts beating in unison
that incomprehensible term
soul mate
maybe there's some truth to the phrase

beauty unfit to rest upon such cheap sheets
as if her elegance makes her hover above the surface
an angel sent to my chambers
skin smooth, silky to the touch
the loving caress of lover's tongues entwined
finger wrapped up in respective hair styles
the kind of styling session that leaves one
with the hair most bedhead aficionados
would break their backs for
the locks of passion
she whispers in my ear
a soft velveteen coo
i am loved
as she is loved
our love has become more than mere physical act
standard turns of phrase transcend to an ethereal plane
our existence refined in the consummation of our love
she is my absolute
she is m blue ribbon, watershed moment
she is the muse in my heart.

For KristEn

the phone is vibrating
with the text of her voice
as i write across state lines
tonight
two lips split symmetrically
coddling fresh lit cigarettes
breath new clouds of hope to the encompassing sky
north set eyes pointed south
at the moon lit sky
somehow i feel
she's looking back
due north
connecting flight from texas, fort worth
same time liftoff Chicago
O'Hare gave us our landing lines
hearts connect and crash in the atmosphere
the words kept safe pinned to chests
now scatter across a five state radius

i do not know her
but oh i beg to differ
yes, our eyes yet to have met
but hearts do not sleep sep'rate

we speak all day
and we dream all night
yet our paths may cross
sweetly beneath the blacklight

i've become caught in her web
ensnared to her vines
yet every brush of rope on my skin
feels just like hers, welcoming me in
tendrils brush against naked lower legs
a fingernail touch for my school boy crush
at my head, my peak, i can hear her
rang clear, soothing cleanse to all my fears
"just embrace this one moment
for at last i have you here"
sweet scent of breath
hers
on nape of mine neck
she captured, both knew,he gave no resist

someday she'll be home
oh i pray soon it comes
the lush scent of her curls
promises mine swoon

one last drag of the cigarette
perched
precariously upon my lips
let this flame extinguish
for a brighter flame burns
between texas and chicago tonight
goodnight

Is it a blog? Is it a poem? maybe a little of both!

Breasts.

I've seen about three hundred breasts
in close to twenty one years of existence
(that's one hundred and fifty pairs, I'm not THAT suave)

mind you, we're speaking in realities here
we haven't even gotten into
my mild porn addiction
or the love of bawdy comedies,
revolving around male, beer-drenched, youthful debauchery
or even better, female debauchery
especially when the ladies in question are
of the attractive persuasion

i mean, let's be serious
who want to see you naked
when you look like Susan Boyle?
but i digress

let us not forget
the wonderful original programming
of our "premium cable television" stations
whether it be comedic, dramatic, or sometimes
"elegantly" pornographic

a slight aside:
to those affiliated with "skinemax" and related programs on other networks
the women yes are beautiful
and the storylines are just as entertaining
as your penetrating counterparts
but when filming simulated insertions
take some pride in your work.
this poor "actress" is vigorously performing fellatio
on the mid-torso area!
spare what little of her dignity remains
and direct her head to the crotch
i don't think that's asking much
just help me suspend my disbelief
but i digress

where was i?
oh yes, premium cable
original programming
where cussing, nudity,
and all the rest that those pesky puritanical censors
attempt to hide from American eyes
are not only allowed
but embedded to the point of nauseum

so let's estimate.
both on and off screen
I've seen five thousand breasts in my lifetime
(once again that's two thousand, five hundred pairs
for those reading who routinely put their trousers on backwards)
and I'm simply lowballing that number folks.
by the time you read this, that number will have increased.

you know, to think of it,
that's quite the staggering number
for twenty one years.
but let's make our one sided conversation
a little more interesting
maybe a little political
let's talk about sexual equality

for the exorbitant amount of tits i have seen
let's compare the amount of cocks i have seen.
I'm actually pretty sure of this number
I'd say I've seen maybe twenty dicks.
in real life.
in my life time.
I went to an all boy's catholic high school
and spent three years of college wasting time in a frat house
there is no scandalous story to be unearthed
sorry ladies.......... and men
i have seen even less on film....
excluding porn.
but then again,
in porn,
there are tits
in direct proximity to the dicks
even though those tits are sometimes outnumbered

(what is America's fascination with group sex anyways?
most of you will never experience it,
and you're better off.
honestly.
it's akin to twister,
but sweatier
and quite slippery as time progresses.
but i digress)

as for television of the non-pornographic sort
i have seen maybe fifteen to twenty pork swords
and yes i am lowballing once again
(oh stop snickering)
this has nothing to do with gay or straight
at least not in the terms of me making this observation
but maybe it does in the eye of the camera


maybe we're being inundated with tits.
i mean it makes sense.
keeping the sexual status quo of course.
the boys grow up to worship sex
not to mention see women as their sexual objects

on the opposite side of the coin
the girls grow up
to think their tits aren't big enough
or whatever nonsense the American media machine
beams into their easily permeable little minds
i mean we have shows
(with tits)
about plastic surgery
(still mostly about showing as much tit on E! as possible)

i mean paris hilton is a celebrity.
and no one really cared who she was until she got "leaked"
onto the internet naked with a cock in her mouth
(which, i add, she sucked with about as much enthusiasm
as her father probably did raising her)

kim kardashian is a celebrity.
pretty much same story
except both her ass and her tits are gigantic
and she showed much more gusto
than her waif-ish blonde counterpart

the girls who were blowing hugh hefner
got their own tv shows
as did the aforementioned useless cum dumpsters
but at least there are barely blurred out tits on "the girls next door"

it's all absolute dreck by the way

anyways back to balls on your television

I'm mildly impressed to say
that I've seen more cocks in the media
in the past few years
probably inspired by the rallying cry of gay rights
in fact it'd probably be 90% if not 100
of the cocks I've seen in the media altogether.
maybe it's that i prefer foreign films,
which pay less attention to American taboo
or that gay rights prominence i touched on earlier
maybe it's tolerance
or maybe the fact that Queer as Folk
is a damn good show

maybe the reason is
Hollywood is still a man's playground
i mean, Sophia Coppola
did leave Bill Murray's man-bits "lost in translation"

maybe equality of the sexes
only truly exists
as an impossibility.

or maybe the cold reality is that
there's nothing remotely attractive about a cock
and a nice happy rack
is a hell of a lot more interesting to look at
and i just wasted your time and mine

sometimes, a circle does allow progress after all

I remember
I remember the shouting
the anger
the rage

I was young then
I was far from happy
I remember my screams
I remember my tears

oh, i remember the fears
the fear of loneliness
the fear of not being accepted
i've since discovered the beauty within both
but oh it took some time

there was the nagging wonder
if any smile would ever be genuine

heavy shit for a ten year old right?
i still think it's heavy shit for anyone
especially those of us devoid
of greased palm doctors

don't even get me started
on the god awful awkwardness of puberty
looking back, i don't blame the girls
i wouldn't have wanted to fuck me either

it's been ten years since
things didn't go as i had planned
do they ever?
only in the embrace of my own essence
have the others begun to emerge from the dark

so perhaps that acceptance we all crave
maybe you have to accept yourself first
and embrace it
and weather the storms of criticism
honestly
if you don't turn on the light
the rest of us can't see a damn thing

did that true smile
a ten year old boy
dreamt of in the dark
ever materialize?

.....

oh wait, I found it

Beach Bum

white whisps
encapsulate the sky
waves break down below
space blue
sky blue
blue-green waves

yet hundreds of happy smiling faces
maybe we should redefine the term "feeling blue"
blue seems to be a pretty happy color to me

beige sand nestles tan and soon-to-be bodies
no one is looking
no one is waiting
we are all just merely
appreciating

maybe a day on the shore
is the real secret to happiness

Corporate America

bought and sold
every square inch

the shoreline weeps

was any of it
ever yours
to begin with?

did the barrel of a gun
lend you a signing bonus
or did your ancestors simply steal to sell?

know your guilt
acknowledge your sins

or not

no matter

mother nature
bought and sold
your moral soul
billions upon billions of years ago

skyline

pillars of industry
captains of the skyline
are you proud?

steel girders
reinforced windows
stretch towards the heavens

did you make your mark?
will time steal your lasting impression astray?

beach market

feel the sand beneath your toes
is this the reason we came?

or did you just want to browse
the beach market
the summer sun's favorite
meat market

hard-bodies strut up and down the sand
teasing
tantalizing
it's all a rouse

school's out
throw more meat
on the chopping block

are you enticed?
are you intrigued?
or are you just a watcher
mind's eye a camera
keeping storage for more private times?

beach bodies stored
in memory banks
like the meat thrown upon the slab
cold, lifeless, soulless.
merely existing for your enjoyment
for the privacy of cold walls
chills run through the air
preserved, kept pretty and fresh
for your easiest convenience

are you hungry yet?
better run home.
wouldn't want to be caught half mast
with the sails down

or are you the hunter?
do you prefer your meat warm
feel the juices on your tongue
the thrill of the pursuit
the glory of the capture?
maybe you just had a better camouflage
the a stray shot half-inviting glance

what are you waiting for men
posed question for ladies too
to hunt or be hunted
brave the risk of failure
or protect fragile egos
take a chance
make your move
the prey is not waiting for you

dance with the devil

who thought wisdom could come
from the mouth of a demon?
slick attire
dressed to the nines
fresh pressed suit
dapper as a don
mafioso love
kind courtesy of tokyo

only i can see his eyes
across the tracks

steel lines
punctuated by wood and twin
drawn in what was once sand

does he wait for a train,
or is a coffin his next stop
velvet seat lined in satin
encased in the finest maple
no cost spared for the king of lost souls

who knew death carried such hefty price tag
no matter
no price too costly for the wicked

our eyes lock
my heart drops
slideshows behind my eyes
my sins transcribed
iridescent lights
either side of the line
bright white on mine,
sickly yellow across

tracks became a river
red as the blood in my veins
darker than the night greeting my face

his traveling companion
graced his company
dress slit down the sides
jade dragon breathes flames to sun scorched thighs
velveteen legs
hourglass shape
the fruit may seem
oh so sweet
but what lies between those thighs
will cost a man his life

three hands cut through the night
to a purse, a pocket
a cigarette tucked behind an ear
they beckon me closer
should i cross the line?
flames produced in the dark of night
yet no lighter in sight
three faces lean into the flame
simultaneously breathe in deep
new battle line drawn

i'm alone on the platform
cigarette eloquently placed at the tips of two fingers
long, self satisfied drags
shoot me down
for i am the unholy trinity
i remain smooth
as the smoke sucked through my lips
desperado, vixen, lost soul
the trinity of hyperbole

are you what you sell?
are you hiding behind dead eyes?
asleep behind the wheel
drowning underwater

the train will take me to warmer climates
a cold heart in the sun

unflappable
indescribable
undefeated
in his mind

can you penetrate me?
or is my shell too perfectly contrived

nine letter in a name
or three sheets to the wind

take me away
to spread the seeds
of life yet unrealized

the light is bearing down
i challenge the track

gimme shelter

Did you see it?
or were you sleeping
lightning painted across a moonless sky
cracks in the pavement
echoed across the midnight black
the canvas across which
nature paints her nightly Mona Lisa

the car is filled with smoke
nature's herb
rolled and smoked
in the face of the storm's fury

the despair of art
transcribed on paper

dare not walk the streets

will you melt?

houses, like faces of humans cowardice
unflinching
unfettered
somewhere artificial light
pierces the eyes of mother nature

have we conquered her
or is her rook moving to checkmate
will she conquer us
we are the streamlined dinosaurs
extinction in disguise

did you think you were safe?
it's darker in your shelter
devoid of natural light
bathe in your artificial illumination
light insincere as the tan of your skin

enjoy your artificial existence
immerse yourself in your fluorocarbons
it's only going to be your ice age

i am happier outside
a single cell
laying on a garden bench
the cleansing water
suffusion of the consumerist sins
i commit on a nightly basis

me and myself wander
a cleansing stroll
in the middle of suburban asphalt
all our problems
washed away
gone in an instant
nature's redemption

the crack of the lightning
the rumble of thunder
the trickle of the rain
down the nape of my neck
our manifested being
is nothing more than
a contrived yearning for control
in a world where we have anything but
we will be shaken off
nothing more than coherent influenza
nature washes our
collective commercial sins
into the proverbial gutter

wake up
we are the disease
nature holds the vaccine
just embrace the needle

storm #2

can you feel it?
the rain matting your hair to your forehead
the insignificance of our exsistance

every lamp you light
every kilowatt of power
surging through wires
twined behind the brick
hidden by the drywall
it could be wiped out
in an instant
the storm will stay

four A.M.
are you sleeping?

you're missing the real power
the metaphor
the allegory
the intangible
it flowed through Malcom's veins
fed the fury of King's heart
the honor of Lincoln
the determination of Milk
an almagation
of everything mankind
is destined
to never achieve
the beauty
the power
the glory

your money
is
useless

your prestige
does not exsist

stand in awe
of the lightning arc

this is what you crave
this is the power
you
will
never
channel

the calm will come

this intensity
this passionate display
this is what nature thinks
of your "art"

earth's abstract masterpiece

you cannot create this


sit back
appreciate
respect

your so called
"control"
Relinquish it
you have none
in the face
of the storm

the storm
metaphor
your life

you chose this

you chose art over money

Hollywood
Cannot
Create
This

Money
Cannot
Buy
Truth

Embrace
Your Art
This Is Your
Inspiration
This Is Your
Integrity

THIS
IS
REAL

Draw it
Describe it
Film it
Capture it

you call yourself an artist

the universe
earth
nature

gave you a canvas

do
not
let
it
slip
through
your
grasp

storm #1

Feel It
embrace nature
hear her all around you
the rain is on your face
but you can't see past the trees
deep black against electric blue
the cacophony of the drops
turn off the radio

feel it motherfucker

turn off the lights
she gave you
something to behold
turn off the tv
this
is
the
SHOW!!!!!

Hydroplane (It's All In Your Head)

two headlights
four wheels
one car
three lanes
no end in sight
torrential downpour
light your cigarette
hydroplane
pray?

relax

it
is
all
in
your
head

imagine the worst
it can only get better
do you know
where the exit is
don't ask
there is no one beside you
let instinct guide you
hope
hope survival
is in your blood

surburban myths

They say the africans
And mexicans
Responsible for our downfall

Walk the streets
Only to find
The truth doesn't stick
Go out to the park
After dark
Revelation's what you might find
Black and brown parents
loving families
Kids in tow
Laugh and smile
Out for an evening walk
While the well off whites
Sell drugs in the park

Who's to blame?

The polish family just next door
Evicted for bad behavior
The racist past
Not well hid
Their kids push drugs
On paths dimly lit
Cops drive by
Unaware
But turn on their lights
For the caddy
Driven by a spic

Who's to blame?
What's the cause?

Too much money
And too little eyes
On the prize
Saftey lost
In skin whiter than
Freshly paved sidewalks
Maybe the attitude
That the ghetto came with
Our new neighbors
Is more harmful
Than the stigmas of their skin
The white girls get pregnant
With their italian boyfriends
No one blinks an eye

Maybe the answer isn't more condos
Or higher price of life
Maybe we need to reevaluate
What all the flags
Hung with care
Really stood for


You know

If they really cared

But then again

We all need some coke
When the lights are down

higher than every angel's voice
true beatuty
soft
loving
calming

where am i?
tunnels run
london to france
where did i fall
between the tracks
this beautiful land
soul spinning in the air
is this real
or did i trip
am i real
or am i an almagation
a constant survey
poular trends
personal brands
a meme transmitting manufactured originality
is it sincere?
is it real

everything
must
fall
in
sequence

c
a
l
m

d
o
w
n

let the beat build
sleep amongst the flowers
let the questions pass
let yourself be you
you are yourself
even a lie is true
when you believe
believe in me
love
laugh
live
survive
friendship is all we need
hand in hand
one in one
the world could use
more love
and less disgrace

Who drinks on a tuesday

The rebels
The ruler
The mildly stupid.

Grey goose
Grey goose
Grey goose
Svedka
Patron
Effen
Effen

Get in the car
The bar is calling
Fake identification
What's your story

Wish she would notice me

Whas your name
Shot down

Roll as a pack.
Divide and conquer
Human instinct
Hunters
Gathering
Pitcher of long islands

Get a number
Make out
She leaves
Text message
Minutes later
Pussy control.

What am I doing?
Hazy
Second pitcher
I like your scarf

Let's go back to my place.
Success
Team awesome
Complimenting wingmen
Pack the car
Pack the bowl

Split to seperate rooms.
Scream my name
I swear this never happens
Sorry but I already came

Can't get it up
Poor performance art
Step your game up

Play videogames
Go to sleep
Go to class
Smoke More Weed
Laugh
Cry
Enjoy life
Do it again

The sex didn't matter
she's still not looking at me

did it ever truely matter?
searching for something to fill
empty lives
empty heads
empty hearts

did you ever wonder

is this all there ever is?

can we change our existence?
can we survive?

our lives are our television
voyeurism
capitalism
watch me
her me
see me
fuck me
leave me
i am naught but entertainment
fold me up
crumple me
change the channel

i'm only staring at the moonlight
looking for perspective
that which doesn't exist
perception
beauty
eyes
beholder

behold me
aspire to be me
i want you
to be the better me
i see him in the moon

he taunts me
happy
am i happy
can we all be happy
fake it baby
maybe
someday
somewhere
smile for the camera
lie to the public
find yourself in me
i am your stepping stone

questions

where are we going

did we ever make it to the end

or are we just spinning


life on the string
existence under the gun

the clock
ticks
slowly
closer
creeping
toward
the end

falling apart or coming together

What have we done?
So
little
time
left
Make it count




So many change

So
Little
Time

Would the me I thought I was
Like the me I became
Or was it all a mistake?


So. Many. Plans.

Twenty. Years. Wasted.

Smoke more pot.








The world is waiting





Pull
Your
Trigger

death's nostalgia

decades peeled back against his face
the night sky shimmers in a sweet embrace
the stereo's swagger bursts through the night
a father's moment revealed to son's eyes
the windows rolled down, spring's soft embrace
as the wind swept whistle caressed his face

two separate moments maligned by time
30 years intertwine in family blood diatribes
the stories once lost one has regained
a calmer mood has come to grace

six months book ended by tragic loss
two grandmothers sleep in dirt. six feet underground
just hours ago he watched the dirt pour
upon seventy eight years of love's fine aura

a grounded voice to thine dreaming tongue
the balance now lost, naught for memories spun
in the webs in corners, in annuls of mind
such loving embrace free flowing of time

brisk wind carries heartbeats of a grandfather's tears
the love of his life no longer lies near
a man so stoic now brought to the brink
to existence of true love, his tears do speak.

stardust

Snow white tan
Skin glinting in the daylight shine
His rise to fame chronicled
In downtown neon light
He steps onstage to the roar of the crowd
Unrelenting
Unstoppable
Untouchable
Coked to the sails
Drunk as a sailor
We stood in awe
He wove his tales

Bisexual astronauts
Lost in space
Out of time
With the human race
Major tom made the aliens sing
The legend of the snake
Rang through outer space
"The bitch is back!"
Cried out in delight
As alien eyes
Transmit a sculpted body
Over space wave skies

He conquered their species
One by one
With nothing more than
Self in hand
His home
A distant thought
In far off lands
Rebel to moral laws
Of pristine humankind

His hot tramp,
queen bitch,
He loved her so
Lost hope for earth
Forgotten long ago
Rather lost in love
With eyes so wide
His apex came
Out rang his parting phrase

"Wham, bam, thank you ma'am!"
Major tom forever lost in space
From the ashes
Ziggy was born

psycho killer

In the shadows
Leers the man
With the piercing gaze
His eyes
Light themselves in streetlights
Cold and lifeless
Like his prey

A hunter of highest regard
None would expect
Their life in the hands
Of a man without a voice
Journals carved in pink
Words he could never speak
Written in scarlet red

Business by day
Dapper suits with sleek ties
His true intent
Lost in the interchange
Souls leased to the highest bidder
Apartments sold to avarice

A predator trained
In math and arts
His soft spoken dialect
His soothing asset
He speaks in tongues
Condescending intellect
Trained in spin
He calms your mind
Stop making sense
Dinner grows complacent

Do you have a choice
This beast machine
The house is burning
You're wrapped up in sheets!

His feast is you
Your skin his meat
Feeble screams to him
Are mere drum beats
Part of his sadistic symphony
Pinot Noir and lobster bisque
Innocent trappings post violent sex
Spiders who spun
Webs green and black
To match the ink on your soul's contract

The gaze that pierces through foresight
Notice the trick
Retain your tact
Keep your life
Stay polite
Bloodlust makes blind
As wood floors battle crimson tide
Pray to your highest
For life not lived in vain
Your words your hand
Play hold 'em for your life
Cards close to the chest

nostalgia you can't live by

dip and delve
a future past
times you never lived
ring through your heart
moments you could never feel
preservation
history
life on repeat

if you dive in deep
artifacts of past
create nostalgia
for what you lack

a summer night
nineteen seventy three
all windows down
stereo screams
as four wheels roll
"Rebel, Rebel" David Bowie sings
the joint is passed
the crowd is pleased
the spirit of the seventies
passed down to millennia
dazed and confused
they taught us well
as the wind blows sweetly in my hair
my father's memories blend as one

the salesman

I am a snake oil salesman
Knocking at your door
I peddle personal disaster
For your love and approval
Take me in for just one night
My tragedies make your heart sing
But as the morning sun casts black and white
Shadowed strips flung carelessly across your naked rest
I'll swear to anything above that my warmth will be missed
Some consider it whirlwind romance
I consider myself a breeze
Blowing fast and smooth to calm your mood
Pain once tattoed now twice removed,
pinned proudly to my sleeve.

Some cast me as a schiester,
A pawn of lifs grand scheme
Pledge my heart as true,
Attempts to move you closer to my sheets
My mind uncouth, yet quite refined
Damned what they say,
I've paved my way
To make such trauma known
And set a course to travel west,
To make my story known

Never percieved to be the leader,
Reserved in my dissent
But the kids they sing and weep along,
As the guitar pulcks your heart strings
I hear her shout "come back!"
I think we all feel the same, I guess
But the nights are just so lonely, the fans they have to leave
There is schooling in the morning
Dire attempts to hold control
The big girls stay to party, I guess education falied,
they're just another number, and just another face
In my sleep, I dream, I pray aloud
That the words I sang have struck young minds
If I've gotten through to help your soul
With the feelings once I had withheld,
I've done my part I've lit some spark
The lonely nights seem worth it
For paris looms in agony
she screams to me "come back!"

I wandered across the country in search of my love
But primal instincts
Drive me to style
That some call fuck and love
"You've gotta sink to swim"
Words etched across my chest
Scrawled cursive in my blood
But swimming's just too painful now
I think somedays I'd just rather drown
But if drowning was to fall in love
I'd welcome death in
You are
The yellow bird
That broke Conor's heart and drove him to sing
Don't set me free
Pease keep my feet planted to the ground
So firmly with a home and families
And now my tales they sing of two

My lot in life was travel
I've grown so tired instead
I'll smoke a cigarette in downtown France
We'll swear we're in love
So buy my oils
And hear my tale
And I swear I'll leave my heart
On your nightstand...

Lucy gray
She spoke her name
With an ounce of fear and a hint of shame
She grew up on the banks of prague
Amongst a sea of peasants swimming past
She'd be blessed
For death brought fast
Oh if she only knew her future's cast
Became brittle, broken, cracked!

But on nature's breath she felt at peace, as deer grazed on grass in sweet summer's breeze
She let her heart come flutter free
As she drank from the moan of a dying creek
As the forest stood in awe!

Oh what secrets her mind revealed
From nature's enlightning swath, the meal she picked from forest's floor has sprung her mind free from it's chains
The wool was pulled
The curtains fell
What social fauds she begged repealed
And the forest sang in praise!

She sought like minds to reconnect in the midst of preception's disconnect
Young fawn stepped close and bowed its head
She stroked fine fur in deep regret that she'd never seen like this
And scores would join as her voice rang out,
A beautiful song of love in doubt
As a lost youth overheard

As her song, it rang amongst the trees
I held my heart and wept in fear
For the future of love sat in the wings
And this is what she said

"Love and pain guide two headed hearts
One servant at the gates,
Cut one off and you'll surely fail
But in taming pain love shall prevail
The pains I've hid for 20 years
Love, domesticated, then did reveal
It's shining grace to tear-stained face
And nature sang in tune
The heart is save for a wild beast
But when tamed it did in turn
Shield my soul from pain
Heartbreak sought to nail my coffin
Yet I kicked and screamed and I begged and pleaded
In fighting night's cold damp embrace
I fell in love with nature's grace!
And here I shall stay till the day has come
When love no longer shins my face"

The levees broke against my legs
I ran to her and love was safe
As the woods rejoiced
From the ticket forth blossomed love's true saving face
A rose as sweet as love breathes pure
Not in fear to be plucked, or forced to growth
A nurtured love
Oh we did share
In love's purest form
As the world sat in the dark