Tuesday, June 23, 2009

For KristEn

the phone is vibrating
with the text of her voice
as i write across state lines
tonight
two lips split symmetrically
coddling fresh lit cigarettes
breath new clouds of hope to the encompassing sky
north set eyes pointed south
at the moon lit sky
somehow i feel
she's looking back
due north
connecting flight from texas, fort worth
same time liftoff Chicago
O'Hare gave us our landing lines
hearts connect and crash in the atmosphere
the words kept safe pinned to chests
now scatter across a five state radius

i do not know her
but oh i beg to differ
yes, our eyes yet to have met
but hearts do not sleep sep'rate

we speak all day
and we dream all night
yet our paths may cross
sweetly beneath the blacklight

i've become caught in her web
ensnared to her vines
yet every brush of rope on my skin
feels just like hers, welcoming me in
tendrils brush against naked lower legs
a fingernail touch for my school boy crush
at my head, my peak, i can hear her
rang clear, soothing cleanse to all my fears
"just embrace this one moment
for at last i have you here"
sweet scent of breath
hers
on nape of mine neck
she captured, both knew,he gave no resist

someday she'll be home
oh i pray soon it comes
the lush scent of her curls
promises mine swoon

one last drag of the cigarette
perched
precariously upon my lips
let this flame extinguish
for a brighter flame burns
between texas and chicago tonight
goodnight

Monday, June 22, 2009

Is it a blog? Is it a poem? maybe a little of both!

Breasts.

I've seen about three hundred breasts
in close to twenty one years of existence
(that's one hundred and fifty pairs, I'm not THAT suave)

mind you, we're speaking in realities here
we haven't even gotten into
my mild porn addiction
or the love of bawdy comedies,
revolving around male, beer-drenched, youthful debauchery
or even better, female debauchery
especially when the ladies in question are
of the attractive persuasion

i mean, let's be serious
who want to see you naked
when you look like Susan Boyle?
but i digress

let us not forget
the wonderful original programming
of our "premium cable television" stations
whether it be comedic, dramatic, or sometimes
"elegantly" pornographic

a slight aside:
to those affiliated with "skinemax" and related programs on other networks
the women yes are beautiful
and the storylines are just as entertaining
as your penetrating counterparts
but when filming simulated insertions
take some pride in your work.
this poor "actress" is vigorously performing fellatio
on the mid-torso area!
spare what little of her dignity remains
and direct her head to the crotch
i don't think that's asking much
just help me suspend my disbelief
but i digress

where was i?
oh yes, premium cable
original programming
where cussing, nudity,
and all the rest that those pesky puritanical censors
attempt to hide from American eyes
are not only allowed
but embedded to the point of nauseum

so let's estimate.
both on and off screen
I've seen five thousand breasts in my lifetime
(once again that's two thousand, five hundred pairs
for those reading who routinely put their trousers on backwards)
and I'm simply lowballing that number folks.
by the time you read this, that number will have increased.

you know, to think of it,
that's quite the staggering number
for twenty one years.
but let's make our one sided conversation
a little more interesting
maybe a little political
let's talk about sexual equality

for the exorbitant amount of tits i have seen
let's compare the amount of cocks i have seen.
I'm actually pretty sure of this number
I'd say I've seen maybe twenty dicks.
in real life.
in my life time.
I went to an all boy's catholic high school
and spent three years of college wasting time in a frat house
there is no scandalous story to be unearthed
sorry ladies.......... and men
i have seen even less on film....
excluding porn.
but then again,
in porn,
there are tits
in direct proximity to the dicks
even though those tits are sometimes outnumbered

(what is America's fascination with group sex anyways?
most of you will never experience it,
and you're better off.
honestly.
it's akin to twister,
but sweatier
and quite slippery as time progresses.
but i digress)

as for television of the non-pornographic sort
i have seen maybe fifteen to twenty pork swords
and yes i am lowballing once again
(oh stop snickering)
this has nothing to do with gay or straight
at least not in the terms of me making this observation
but maybe it does in the eye of the camera


maybe we're being inundated with tits.
i mean it makes sense.
keeping the sexual status quo of course.
the boys grow up to worship sex
not to mention see women as their sexual objects

on the opposite side of the coin
the girls grow up
to think their tits aren't big enough
or whatever nonsense the American media machine
beams into their easily permeable little minds
i mean we have shows
(with tits)
about plastic surgery
(still mostly about showing as much tit on E! as possible)

i mean paris hilton is a celebrity.
and no one really cared who she was until she got "leaked"
onto the internet naked with a cock in her mouth
(which, i add, she sucked with about as much enthusiasm
as her father probably did raising her)

kim kardashian is a celebrity.
pretty much same story
except both her ass and her tits are gigantic
and she showed much more gusto
than her waif-ish blonde counterpart

the girls who were blowing hugh hefner
got their own tv shows
as did the aforementioned useless cum dumpsters
but at least there are barely blurred out tits on "the girls next door"

it's all absolute dreck by the way

anyways back to balls on your television

I'm mildly impressed to say
that I've seen more cocks in the media
in the past few years
probably inspired by the rallying cry of gay rights
in fact it'd probably be 90% if not 100
of the cocks I've seen in the media altogether.
maybe it's that i prefer foreign films,
which pay less attention to American taboo
or that gay rights prominence i touched on earlier
maybe it's tolerance
or maybe the fact that Queer as Folk
is a damn good show

maybe the reason is
Hollywood is still a man's playground
i mean, Sophia Coppola
did leave Bill Murray's man-bits "lost in translation"

maybe equality of the sexes
only truly exists
as an impossibility.

or maybe the cold reality is that
there's nothing remotely attractive about a cock
and a nice happy rack
is a hell of a lot more interesting to look at
and i just wasted your time and mine

sometimes, a circle does allow progress after all

I remember
I remember the shouting
the anger
the rage

I was young then
I was far from happy
I remember my screams
I remember my tears

oh, i remember the fears
the fear of loneliness
the fear of not being accepted
i've since discovered the beauty within both
but oh it took some time

there was the nagging wonder
if any smile would ever be genuine

heavy shit for a ten year old right?
i still think it's heavy shit for anyone
especially those of us devoid
of greased palm doctors

don't even get me started
on the god awful awkwardness of puberty
looking back, i don't blame the girls
i wouldn't have wanted to fuck me either

it's been ten years since
things didn't go as i had planned
do they ever?
only in the embrace of my own essence
have the others begun to emerge from the dark

so perhaps that acceptance we all crave
maybe you have to accept yourself first
and embrace it
and weather the storms of criticism
honestly
if you don't turn on the light
the rest of us can't see a damn thing

did that true smile
a ten year old boy
dreamt of in the dark
ever materialize?

.....

oh wait, I found it

Beach Bum

white whisps
encapsulate the sky
waves break down below
space blue
sky blue
blue-green waves

yet hundreds of happy smiling faces
maybe we should redefine the term "feeling blue"
blue seems to be a pretty happy color to me

beige sand nestles tan and soon-to-be bodies
no one is looking
no one is waiting
we are all just merely
appreciating

maybe a day on the shore
is the real secret to happiness

Corporate America

bought and sold
every square inch

the shoreline weeps

was any of it
ever yours
to begin with?

did the barrel of a gun
lend you a signing bonus
or did your ancestors simply steal to sell?

know your guilt
acknowledge your sins

or not

no matter

mother nature
bought and sold
your moral soul
billions upon billions of years ago

skyline

pillars of industry
captains of the skyline
are you proud?

steel girders
reinforced windows
stretch towards the heavens

did you make your mark?
will time steal your lasting impression astray?

beach market

feel the sand beneath your toes
is this the reason we came?

or did you just want to browse
the beach market
the summer sun's favorite
meat market

hard-bodies strut up and down the sand
teasing
tantalizing
it's all a rouse

school's out
throw more meat
on the chopping block

are you enticed?
are you intrigued?
or are you just a watcher
mind's eye a camera
keeping storage for more private times?

beach bodies stored
in memory banks
like the meat thrown upon the slab
cold, lifeless, soulless.
merely existing for your enjoyment
for the privacy of cold walls
chills run through the air
preserved, kept pretty and fresh
for your easiest convenience

are you hungry yet?
better run home.
wouldn't want to be caught half mast
with the sails down

or are you the hunter?
do you prefer your meat warm
feel the juices on your tongue
the thrill of the pursuit
the glory of the capture?
maybe you just had a better camouflage
the a stray shot half-inviting glance

what are you waiting for men
posed question for ladies too
to hunt or be hunted
brave the risk of failure
or protect fragile egos
take a chance
make your move
the prey is not waiting for you

dance with the devil

who thought wisdom could come
from the mouth of a demon?
slick attire
dressed to the nines
fresh pressed suit
dapper as a don
mafioso love
kind courtesy of tokyo

only i can see his eyes
across the tracks

steel lines
punctuated by wood and twin
drawn in what was once sand

does he wait for a train,
or is a coffin his next stop
velvet seat lined in satin
encased in the finest maple
no cost spared for the king of lost souls

who knew death carried such hefty price tag
no matter
no price too costly for the wicked

our eyes lock
my heart drops
slideshows behind my eyes
my sins transcribed
iridescent lights
either side of the line
bright white on mine,
sickly yellow across

tracks became a river
red as the blood in my veins
darker than the night greeting my face

his traveling companion
graced his company
dress slit down the sides
jade dragon breathes flames to sun scorched thighs
velveteen legs
hourglass shape
the fruit may seem
oh so sweet
but what lies between those thighs
will cost a man his life

three hands cut through the night
to a purse, a pocket
a cigarette tucked behind an ear
they beckon me closer
should i cross the line?
flames produced in the dark of night
yet no lighter in sight
three faces lean into the flame
simultaneously breathe in deep
new battle line drawn

i'm alone on the platform
cigarette eloquently placed at the tips of two fingers
long, self satisfied drags
shoot me down
for i am the unholy trinity
i remain smooth
as the smoke sucked through my lips
desperado, vixen, lost soul
the trinity of hyperbole

are you what you sell?
are you hiding behind dead eyes?
asleep behind the wheel
drowning underwater

the train will take me to warmer climates
a cold heart in the sun

unflappable
indescribable
undefeated
in his mind

can you penetrate me?
or is my shell too perfectly contrived

nine letter in a name
or three sheets to the wind

take me away
to spread the seeds
of life yet unrealized

the light is bearing down
i challenge the track

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

gimme shelter

Did you see it?
or were you sleeping
lightning painted across a moonless sky
cracks in the pavement
echoed across the midnight black
the canvas across which
nature paints her nightly Mona Lisa

the car is filled with smoke
nature's herb
rolled and smoked
in the face of the storm's fury

the despair of art
transcribed on paper

dare not walk the streets

will you melt?

houses, like faces of humans cowardice
unflinching
unfettered
somewhere artificial light
pierces the eyes of mother nature

have we conquered her
or is her rook moving to checkmate
will she conquer us
we are the streamlined dinosaurs
extinction in disguise

did you think you were safe?
it's darker in your shelter
devoid of natural light
bathe in your artificial illumination
light insincere as the tan of your skin

enjoy your artificial existence
immerse yourself in your fluorocarbons
it's only going to be your ice age

i am happier outside
a single cell
laying on a garden bench
the cleansing water
suffusion of the consumerist sins
i commit on a nightly basis

me and myself wander
a cleansing stroll
in the middle of suburban asphalt
all our problems
washed away
gone in an instant
nature's redemption

the crack of the lightning
the rumble of thunder
the trickle of the rain
down the nape of my neck
our manifested being
is nothing more than
a contrived yearning for control
in a world where we have anything but
we will be shaken off
nothing more than coherent influenza
nature washes our
collective commercial sins
into the proverbial gutter

wake up
we are the disease
nature holds the vaccine
just embrace the needle

storm #2

can you feel it?
the rain matting your hair to your forehead
the insignificance of our exsistance

every lamp you light
every kilowatt of power
surging through wires
twined behind the brick
hidden by the drywall
it could be wiped out
in an instant
the storm will stay

four A.M.
are you sleeping?

you're missing the real power
the metaphor
the allegory
the intangible
it flowed through Malcom's veins
fed the fury of King's heart
the honor of Lincoln
the determination of Milk
an almagation
of everything mankind
is destined
to never achieve
the beauty
the power
the glory

your money
is
useless

your prestige
does not exsist

stand in awe
of the lightning arc

this is what you crave
this is the power
you
will
never
channel

the calm will come

this intensity
this passionate display
this is what nature thinks
of your "art"

earth's abstract masterpiece

you cannot create this


sit back
appreciate
respect

your so called
"control"
Relinquish it
you have none
in the face
of the storm

the storm
metaphor
your life

you chose this

you chose art over money

Hollywood
Cannot
Create
This

Money
Cannot
Buy
Truth

Embrace
Your Art
This Is Your
Inspiration
This Is Your
Integrity

THIS
IS
REAL

Draw it
Describe it
Film it
Capture it

you call yourself an artist

the universe
earth
nature

gave you a canvas

do
not
let
it
slip
through
your
grasp

storm #1

Feel It
embrace nature
hear her all around you
the rain is on your face
but you can't see past the trees
deep black against electric blue
the cacophony of the drops
turn off the radio

feel it motherfucker

turn off the lights
she gave you
something to behold
turn off the tv
this
is
the
SHOW!!!!!

Hydroplane (It's All In Your Head)

two headlights
four wheels
one car
three lanes
no end in sight
torrential downpour
light your cigarette
hydroplane
pray?

relax

it
is
all
in
your
head

imagine the worst
it can only get better
do you know
where the exit is
don't ask
there is no one beside you
let instinct guide you
hope
hope survival
is in your blood